“Are you exper…


“Are you experienced?”…We all knew what Jimi was talking about, didn’t we? A hit of acid is no more a carefree joyride as it is a plummet into madness, tho’ either or each is probably in the cards. One thing every tripper will tell you is that when you’re on LSD, and your vibration is so altered & amped, you’re likely to attract similar vibrational anomalies, like-to-like, which, under any circumstances, would be considered peculiar, out-of-the-loop, and, well…trippy. I offer 2 personal examples:

I was by inclination & choice mostly a day-tripper, and more often than not, a solitary one. Beaches were always great because you could slap on that 1000 yd stare & lopsided grin, and folks just figure you’re grooving on the sun & sea – which indeed you are! I enjoyed the woodland meander, the secluded waterfall kingdom, the mountain air, There was a zoo nearby, with a big, moated island filled with monkeys I frequented (watching monkeys play is highly enjoyable & amusing at any time, but when tripping it also becomes an unveiling of gnostic mysteries & a portal into realms of hidden knowledge. As I was sitting on a park bench, laughing at the monkey-antics & drifting off into deep philosophical reveries, a city patrol car pulled into a nearby parking lot, and 2 boys in blue came walking towards me, hitching their gun-belts & (to me) scowling like demons….and yes, yes indeed it was me, me specifically, they were addressing. The standard: “Do you have any ID?”… Now, panic is your king-dawg enemy when tripping, so instead of screaming at them to leave me the fuck alone!, I more reasonably inquired as to their purpose in trying to harsh my buzz. They didn’t understand, or ignored, my demand for an explanation, and said they needed to question me because I matched the description of a guy who, just an hour before, had…wait for it….STOLEN A SWAN!…..this did not compute…”Have you been down by the duck pond today?”….wait, what?….”A swan was stolen.” (one of them, I was thinking, had spoken those words)…I was expected to somehow address this mystery, but all I could muster under the circumstances was something along the lines of, “A SWAN?!…what the fuck are you guys talking about?!!”…..they were absolutely serious & professional about this investigation, and I was forced to spend a timeless time in the back of the cruiser, trying to find words to convincingly display the fact that I did not (“A swan, you say? A fucking SWAN?!”), would not ever, steal their fucking swan, and had been harmlessly engaged in watching monkeys for hours.I told them nothing of the gnostic mysteries & hidden knowledge, and after a very confusing while, they let me go. I was so jangled by the experience I left monkey island & went to the aviary, where I recounted the whole bizarre episode to the horned owl.

The next story, which I’ll save for another blog, is even stranger….it tells of a time I was accosted & hassled when tripping by a gang of aggressively rude little people…yes, a posse of foul-mouthed, insulting midgets!


Posted on April 19, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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